For others who are concerned about this range of problems, consider the following issue carefully: elderly parents who for whatever reason compromise their financial and/or physical health are placing a direct burden on you. Although their debts do not transfer to you, you may very well be on the hook due to familial obligations. E.g. your MIL gives up all of her assets to a fraudster. You cannot bear to see her homeless - so you step in financially. Her actions are now reducing your wealth and quality of life.
One solution to this is to anticipate and discuss issues well before they arise. Transfer assets to trusts for grandchildren. Create living trusts where a child is a trustee. Watch your parents' financial accounts. Talk to them about common scams [Nigerian/IRS/Gift card/Email]. Train them to always confirm with a family member before transferring money anywhere.
There is also the option of pursuing Guardianship and Conservatorship should that become necessary.
I wrote above about the myths (as in folklore, ancestor wisdom, not "myth" to mean something is superstitious to be dismissed with prejudice) on role reversals. So I get it. Setting up trust funds and other legal instruments is sensible, and it is what I'm planning with my children.
On the flip side, I grew up in a Taiwanese household in America.
Culturally, such a thing is not considered a burden, and is part of the continuity of lineage.
What's fascinating for me is that:
(1) There is an assumed incompetency for the elderly
(2) Deeper still, seems to me a lot of people in America has trouble with death and dying.
Several years ago, my father died of lung cancer. I only got to visit him once, for a week. We arranged for a limited power of attorney to try to get the finances in shape, but I wasn't able to accomplish everything he wished for me. He wanted to make sure I had a legacy from him. I wasn't able to visit him one more time to tell him what his real legacy he left behind was.
My sister is an MD, and arranged for an in-home care. She financially took care of my parents even before my dad died -- bought a car for him to drive, bought a fridge for my mom to replace that crusty old thing, paying gas bill because my mother insists on keeping the house at 50F to save on money.
I don't think either my sister or I consider that heroic. It's just the thing to do.
For others who are concerned about this range of problems, consider the following issue carefully: elderly parents who for whatever reason compromise their financial and/or physical health are placing a direct burden on you. Although their debts do not transfer to you, you may very well be on the hook due to familial obligations. E.g. your MIL gives up all of her assets to a fraudster. You cannot bear to see her homeless - so you step in financially. Her actions are now reducing your wealth and quality of life.
One solution to this is to anticipate and discuss issues well before they arise. Transfer assets to trusts for grandchildren. Create living trusts where a child is a trustee. Watch your parents' financial accounts. Talk to them about common scams [Nigerian/IRS/Gift card/Email]. Train them to always confirm with a family member before transferring money anywhere.
There is also the option of pursuing Guardianship and Conservatorship should that become necessary.