Realize that the only person in the world who cares about your frustrations is you. If you can't handle your shit, people won't want to be around you. You need to make it your personal responsibility to be a good team player. It should help you to realize that all of your amazing skills and talent aren't worth anything if no one can stand being around you.
Everyone has their own specific set of strengths and weaknesses.
It's toxic to compare people's weaknesses to your own strengths, or to compare your own weaknesses with other's strengths.
Enjoy connecting to people and making banter. Stop trying to get "somewhere". Don't even try to push for the project to finish earlier. It finishes when it finishes. The quality it's done at is the quality it's going to be. Do what you're going to do then step back. Focus on the present, and enjoy it because it is everything you have. The only "somewhere" everyone ever gets to is death. What's more important, your joy in the present, or some illusion of the future?
Choices are illusory. Our lives are not ours to control. We can follow the flow of life's river and enjoy the sights life offers, or push against the current, and encounter resistance, spending all our time bucketing water out of our boats. The only choice we have is between focusing on reality of the present, the small boons we experience every day, a smile, an eye contact, a joke, listening to a story, and focusing on the illusions of the future, finding weaknesses in yourself or others through comparison, fighting against the current of life. Who are you in this moment?
I agree with 9935c101ab17a66's [dead] post: your comment contains some good advice, but it's diluted with garbage and platitudes beyond all utility.
Choices are illusory? Nope. Life is an endless, continuous stream of choices, and making those choices is the only thing that you can do to influence how your own life goes.
I'm not going to convince you, but in my experience I find it to be true. The more I am focused on the present, the more the choices I do pick appear to be the obviously good ones. The other choices merely clouds my life, like the OP, trying to pushing things through faster, experiencing gridlock, and then getting labelled as toxic. If we know that's what the consequence of a choice is like, it'd be obvious not to pick it, none of it is enjoyable. It so happens these obviously bad choices in hindsight all happen to be picked when I am too attached to some future outcome, and all the good choices I do make, I was not attached to the future, I made them by being immersed as the present, picking the obviously good choice.
By good choice I mean one I would never regret no matter what the outcome was, and instead would have regretted if I never made it.
That's what I mean by choices being merely an illusion. All I can pick is the present, or the illusion of being in control of the future.
