Most people think I have a crazy commute; perhaps I do. It may be worth it. I commute from the San Bernardino Mountains to Orange County. I wake up at 4:30am, eat a solid breakfast, leave the house at 5:30am, drive for 35 minutes to the train station, ride the train for 45 minutes, jump off, jog three blocks to the gym, work out for about 50 minutes, jog back to the train, get back on for 10 minutes, then walk for about 5 minutes to the office. So an hour and half ignoring the gym stop. I leave work around 4:30pm or 5:00pm, and get home about 6:30pm or 7:00pm (so about 2 hours to get home) and eat dinner with the family. I try to be in bed by 9:30pm.
What are the pros? I can work, read, or email on the train. I listen to audiobooks on the drive. I commute with co-workers and can either shoot the shit or have productive talks. I get paid 150% of what I would work more local. Where I live, I have an amazing view, wildlife from birds to bears, seasons, can have any pets I want (I recently started raising chickens that live in my yard during the day), literally zero crime, very decent schools, family in the area, ...
There are cons. I only get about one to one and a half hours at the most with my kids in the evening. I have zero time to do anything else during the week. I recently started experiencing one of the issues the articled called out: terrible sleep. Aside from a handful of nights, I've not gotten solid sleep in the last four months. That could be the commute, or diet, or anything else.
Could I move closer to work? Corona would not cut it (I could save maybe about 30 minutes but that marginal benefit does not balance out), so I would have to move to something in Orange County. The prices are crazy. I don't know how people live there. Rent is FOUR TIMES my mortgage. I don't make enough to have a mortgage out there as I would have zero disposable income and zero savings (if I qualified for a mortgage).
I've been doing this for five years now. If I could have a decent back yard, a mortgage that came in at 1/4 (or so) my income, and near a decent school, I would consider uprooting my family. I don't think that option exists.
The optimization I'd personally make in that case, rather than moving, is wfh 1-4 days every 2 weeks, and staying near work (hotel, Airbnb, sleep at office, etc) 1-4 nights/2 weeks.
(I've seriously considered commuting to or doing a startup from Seattle, Portland, Las Vegas, or Austin even though I'd need to be in SF for work or to meet with people several days per week.)
I went full-time remote from that kind of structure, and have reclaimed an incomprehensible amount of quality of life and daily time, compared to the slog you are rationalizing.
> I only get about one to one and a half hours at the most with my kids in the evening.
Does this include weekends? I totally empathize with your situation concerning prices, but as your kids grow into teenagers, they'll want their own independence so this time may decrease as it goes on, and the time you have now with them while they're young... it's not time you'll get back, unfortunately.
What are the pros? I can work, read, or email on the train. I listen to audiobooks on the drive. I commute with co-workers and can either shoot the shit or have productive talks. I get paid 150% of what I would work more local. Where I live, I have an amazing view, wildlife from birds to bears, seasons, can have any pets I want (I recently started raising chickens that live in my yard during the day), literally zero crime, very decent schools, family in the area, ...
There are cons. I only get about one to one and a half hours at the most with my kids in the evening. I have zero time to do anything else during the week. I recently started experiencing one of the issues the articled called out: terrible sleep. Aside from a handful of nights, I've not gotten solid sleep in the last four months. That could be the commute, or diet, or anything else.
Could I move closer to work? Corona would not cut it (I could save maybe about 30 minutes but that marginal benefit does not balance out), so I would have to move to something in Orange County. The prices are crazy. I don't know how people live there. Rent is FOUR TIMES my mortgage. I don't make enough to have a mortgage out there as I would have zero disposable income and zero savings (if I qualified for a mortgage).
I've been doing this for five years now. If I could have a decent back yard, a mortgage that came in at 1/4 (or so) my income, and near a decent school, I would consider uprooting my family. I don't think that option exists.