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I think my comment is going to be lost in the pile, but hopefully you see it.

I'm 42, and felt very similarly, particularly after changing jobs with a nearly 100% increase in pay. I make a lot of money, especially for my COL area. I have a nice house, nice cars, kids are doing well. I felt a strong sense of something missing, and thought about talking to a therapist. I wasn't sure how to fill the hole. Began thinking about social work I could get into (doing something about poverty, equality, homelessness is high on my list of values), but haven't taken that step.

Then, I got a cancer diagnosis. It sounds cliche, but everything changed immediately. What I thought I valued was so wrong. I was so focused on the future; of being a grandparent, traveling, doing something as a volunteer...and then, WHAM.

Suddenly, this is what mattered:

Doing the dishes. Driving around town. Feeding my dogs. Walking outside on a nice day.

I reached out to a therapist, against every bit of my nature. I always felt like I could handle anything mentally, but I just couldn't anymore. She has been immensely helpful, and given me mental tools (again, sounds cliche, but believe me - great) for dealing with things I was hitting a wall with. We talked about my change in perspective. Talked about living more in the moment, or at least, that was my take-away. Since then, I have been shifting my focus to the present any time I find myself ruminating on the past or future too much. Thinking about those things is pretty pointless. Of course, I don't make reflexive, bad decisions about the future, I just stopped constantly thinking about being able to retire, where I would live, what my kids' futures looked like (that probably sounds bad, but they're adults - their futures are theirs to make now), political bullshit of the day...

tl;dr: Focus on the present. Find out what really matters to you.


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