Welcome to the club, mate. By 45 I told my friends proudly "majority of my goals I have already reached", and then silently asked myself "crap... what do I do now?". However life isn't boring place, no matter the age. We are meant to be happy, regardless what modern pharmacist would like you to believe. Happiness is always inside. Right people shed some light on the path to it. Be it a therapist, a neighbor you never talked to, or a stranger passing by, walking out the dog. 40+ is amazing time, when you clearly know who you are, who you are not, and what's right. It's also a perfect time to just throw those beliefs and prejudices, and try finding yourself again. There are no dead ends in life, "even if you got eaten there are two ways out". Keep looking! Good luck mate.