If my "value system" shouldn't apply to someone else, then you are making my point - women are less interested in pro chess than men, and their different value system is not a problem.
If you do think it's a problem, you can only argue that it is based on a judgement of what's productive that is applicable to others. Here I am ready to defend my belief that chess, which I like, is a waste of time.
Noone is arguing that women "should" play more chess, where "should" holds any moral or ethical imperative.
They're simply saying that the chess community would find greater enjoyment in the sport if more women played. And, more women would experience that same enjoyment if they weren't scared away by the lack of diversity.
There is no "should" here. It would just be nice...
With that clarified, indeed, you "should" not be applying your value system on others. There is nothing inherently wrong with encouraging diversity in a sport, which is the idea which you seem to be promoting. (If you're not, then there's nothing material to be discussed here).
If you do think it's a problem, you can only argue that it is based on a judgement of what's productive that is applicable to others. Here I am ready to defend my belief that chess, which I like, is a waste of time.